Rejection as a creative can really hurt. Whether it comes from someone you know personally who is rejecting your work or whether it is from a total stranger.

It hurts.

As creatives we must be brave and strong to put our work out there and it is extremely easy for anyone to then pass judgement on our work and for us to take that personally. This judgement is painful as it was not what we were expecting and therefore it can trigger those times in our past when we were rejected thus creating a circle of pain.

Many years ago, I was hired to be on the crew of a feature film project, and it was such a great opportunity. It was an incredible production where I had loads of fun, I learnt so much, I got to be intensely creative, and by the end of the production I felt like I had shifted my filmmaking career.  I thought I had done a great job; I definitely had given it my all.

Suddenly I got a nasty rejecting email from the Director about my work.  He ripped me to shreds.  He gave me a new arsehole so to speak.  I was devastated.  I learnt later that he did this behaviour to a lot of younger creatives. I also found out that others who had worked on this project with me, were extremely happy with my work. They even told me that after he sent me this email, he was quite happy with my work and gave compliments about my craft to others about me.  But…

It was too late; I allowed that rejection to overwhelm me.  It overtook me.  It was like a tidal wave of “I’m not good enough”.  It led me to pack away my camera and lock up my creative career into a dark basement for about 5 years.

I stopped filmmaking!  For 5 years!

That was the negative effect of that rejection – 5 years of me sitting on the side-lines, warming that bench.  And it was hard to restart the creative energy again, believe me.  One day I did, with the help and encouraging support of my wife.  Followed by that nagging voice in my head wanting me to write an idea down.  And I did, I started to write, and write and write. And I started to feel good about my creativity again.

I set a goal of writing a feature script within 12 months, and I achieved that. What was so great about that goal was it was just for me, it wasn’t about making a film and worrying about the rejection. It was all about can I do this, and I did.  

I felt good about my creativity.  I then started a goal of taking pictures and sharing on Instagram, and again it wasn’t about looking for likes or dislikes, it was all about me. It was about taking a picture that I liked.  And that helped get my visual creativity flowing again. 

And then I was back. “I am making a short film” was my new goal.  And I did – a short documentary (Circles of Connection).  I made that and was extremely happy with the result. 

The first lesson for me in dealing with rejection is - don’t do what I did and allow rejection to swallow your creativity. Forcing you not to make your projects.  

The second lesson for me in dealing with rejection is - take the edge off the rejection by creating more and more work for yourself.  The more work you get out there, the better you feel about your creativity and the less the rejection hurts.

Recently, I have been rejected by film festivals, funding agents and job opportunities.  Each time it is hard, but I am not allowing it to swallow me up again. I accept it, find out if feedback is possible, feel my sucky feelings about it, take the edge off it by creating a new project and then start up again.   

 Yes – rejection sucks, it really does.  It’s the worst thing ever. Ultimately, I need to be happy with my creative projects because once it leaves my brain and goes onto the screen, it is not just my work anymore, it is the world’s art.

Go on, don’t let rejection stop you. The world needs your art.